Operator: 911, what is your emergency?
You: Help! I’ve just had a beauty blow out on the freeway and I don’t know what to do!
Operator: Calm down. What is the situation?
You: I was all pumped up about my outfit this morning. But now I’m dealing with an oil spill on my face, haywire hair, worn-down treads on my strappies, and a serious overheating problem. The only thing running is my mascara and I have to be at a party in half an hour. I’m hosed!
Operator: Listen to me. Can you safely get to a gas station?
You: (panicked, uneasy breath) Yes! I mean I think so.
Operator: Everything you need is inside that convenience store. I’m going to walk you through this.
For that pimple – Grab some aspirin, crush it up, and mix it in water. Reve Salon Senior Stylist Ashlee Valeros says put the paste on your zit for about 20 minutes to take away the redness and puffiness. Visine will also deemphasize the problem.
For that oily complexion – Fashion and beauty expert Christine Gardner of Flaunt says a disposable toilet seat cover is an effective emergency blotter.
For your hair – Valeros says dryer sheets will whisk away your fly aways. The sheets can also work as a deodorant and deal with static cling that’s making your skirt ride up.
For your skidding stilettos – A little hairspray on the sole will help you stick that landing. Gardner adds hairspray on a toothbrush can tame out-of-control brows.
For your melting makeup – Gardner says olive oil will remove makeup as well as any special remover.
For added polish – A red popsicle followed by Vaseline or gloss, Valeros says, can stand in for a lip stain.
You: Perfect! By the way, my maintenance light has been on for the last four miles. Should I be worried?
Operator: Sorry. That’s tow-tally not our speed.
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Posted on Tuesday, November 30, 1999 in Permalink